My Cool Item for Sale

blue furry thingThis is the description of my cool item for sale. It's blue, it's furry, and when you pet it I don't guarantee that your fingers will remain attached to your hand. It kinda smells funny too, but it's SUCH a pretty color blue.

I got it from a funny old man at the carnival. I don't think he was with the carnival, he was just there, hanging out. The blue furry thing started keening loudly when I was walking by the old man, only I didn't know that's what was making the noise until he pulled it out of his pocket, handed it to me and told me it was mine now. Geez, who woulda thunk an old geezer like that could book that fast! And whipping that cane around whapping shins to move kids and old grannies outta his way, it was awesome!

I don't think I can sell this outside the US since I doubt that this thing will make it through customs, and I really don't want responsibility for it if it doesn't make it through. Especially since the post office guy really gave me the hairy eyeball last time I put my return address on the customs form as 1313 Mockingbird Lane, and I have a funny feeling he won't let it happen again.

Why am I selling it, you ask? Well . . . um . . . let's just say it's time for it to have a new home. Far, far away.

Seller Information

Okay, I know you're wondering about that less than zero feedback, who woulda thunk Ebay could do that? . . . I promise you it'll never happen again.

About the Seller Link

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Shipping

I charge a flat rate shipping fee per item. I know that $150 bucks sounds high but this blue furry thing is gonna be a royal BITCH to pack safely. I gotta worry about airholes and how to pack the food and water so it won't spill . . . not to mention all the meditation I've had to learn to safely make the trip to the post office without that blue thing doing the mind voodoo . . . nevermind.

Sales Policy

No Returns. Ever. Don't even ask. Though a refund might be considered if it's needed for bail money due to ownership of the blue furry thing. Geez, I may be stupid, but I'm not heartless.